When does helping someone with money hurt them? In a recent survey, almost half of parents were reported to be financially supporting their adult children, be it with rent or shared cell phones, or health insurance. They give an estimated $1000/month.
I am writing to the (older) adults out there with grown kids, and to the grown-up kids who still take money from their parents. When does it hurt to “help?”
It’s our opinion that the helping should be limited to “wants” and “extras”, like inviting your adult children to join you on a vacation, or taking them to dinner, not paying their mortgage or monthly expenses. When a child becomes dependent on the parent for monthly expenses like food or housing or insurance, the child never learns to budget those items properly in his life. What will happen if you pass away early, or if you find yourself laid off?
The budget process, prioritizing expenses and balancing them with income-production, produces character. As parents we want our children to have godly character.
If you are the person receiving the assistance, can you find a way to wean yourself off? After 26, enroll at your own employer’s insurance plan. Share a cell phone plan with your friend or spouse, or pay your parents your share if you are still on a family plan.
If you are the parent in the situation, gradually reduce the support. Give notice that free rent ends on Sept. 1, or that they can contribute to the cell plan or get cut off. They are adults; they can prioritize their budgets to fit.
Thanks for your blog, nice to read. Do not stop.